Is Duality a Con?

Is it really a dualistic experience we need to heal? Is it really just the distance between who we are and the outside world that needs to be bridged?

I don’t think so. To believe that oneness is where we came from and one day hopefully return to, does makes sense. What doesn’t make sense is that we suffer from dualism!

It’s true that many of us are aware, and troubled by, the sense of separation we often feel. It’s also true that it feels good to be connected, just like when we breathe together every Sunday in our #breathetheworld free online webinars.

But what if we are missing something more important?

You see, each time we have been struck by trauma or shame, a part of us becomes isolated, not just from the world, but from ourselves too. This means that there are thousands of selves that have been stuck behind trauma or shock that have not yet been able to come to healing, to come to completion, to full integrity.

Each time we are triggered by someone (a good way to notice if you’re triggered is if your adrenaline is rising) chemicals and hormones race through the body as if the original trauma is being reawakened. This is helpful to be aware of and can support our integration in healing – awareness of the body is a super useful tool in that process.

You might think that after a while we would become hardened to such outside threat, and indeed a part of us does; that’s why we think its safer not to feel anything, but when we stop feeling we lose our natural intelligence, our intuition. We close our ears to our own inner voice of wisdom.

You may remember between 5-10 of the most significant shocks you have experienced in your life, but there were probably many, many more that you have buried away. If you hadn’t, life would have been unbearable, so in fact this burial is an act of ‘survival’.

Each time you block the fullness of feelings however, also sees the unconscious loss of a fundamental part of who you are. Claiming equanimity as a way not to feel is faking it till you make it.

When you think of the number of times you’ve have been hurt and reacted by putting up another layer of defence, how can you present yourself to the world if parts of you are hidden away?

How can we be present at all if we have substituted wholeness for emptiness?

How can we experience peace if underneath the surface is the turmoil of unresolved times past?

When we lose presence we become like a ship with no rudder, subject to every wave or tide of change. We become flotsam in the sea of life. Survival becomes our success, the possibility of thriving ever more remote, but what if there’s another way? How about creating bridges that all these suffering versions of our past can cross to be embraced, celebrated and retrieved to lead us back to wholeness again? This is a conscious choice that is available all the time. There are lots fragments of who we are that have been left for long enough.

What if you choose just one of your pains, something about somebody else that triggers you,

What if, during our next session, you take your breath consciously to that old version of yourself that’s lived without air for years, maybe even decades? Would you be willing to do that unconditionally, just like you would wait patiently for a young child’s trust?

It’s not until we have opened these avenues and bridges that the retrieval can occur. The first one is effortful, a true Hero’s Journey, but after a couple of times, all those younger versions will line up to be heard, held and loved.

Keeping them present in your world view is the only way you can be present. When these channels are open, then we can address duality, for util then we live in denial of a multiplistic reality, and our attempts to connect with the world outside us; with spirit, with love, can only offer momentary glimpses of what’s possible.

But…here is the good news! It’s not as if you have to do this work thousands of times. You can build your fist bridge right now, and many past wounded selves will be able to cross that bridge and return to your heart to be healed.

Next week in our Breathe The World session we will visit this intention, so I hope you can join us!

With love,


PS Here is a hint for next week’s breathe!

B – Breathe

R – Recognise

I  – Investigate/Inquire

D – Dialogue

G – Gather

E – Exercise

Why not invite a friend to breathe with you next week? In fact, here’s a challenge: 

Get 2 people to come, (send an email to with their names), and I’ll send you a free download of a full one-hour session you can use at home. 

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