Hello dear breather.
I have seen at least ten end of year newsletters cross my screen and I must admit an irritated swipe was enough to dispense with them. If you have done it already with this one then it’s obviously not for you! 😉
I had a powerful session today, and I want to share it with you, because I think it applies to all of us.
The more I do this work, the more clear it becomes that we are seeking to heal the great divide. What’s that? It is whatever you feel separate from, and it’s probably an essential part of who you are.
Let me explain before this gets too intellectual. Every time you react to a ‘trigger’ and find yourself worse off as a result, how does it feel? A whole list of negative emotions, right?
This is an important moment, and perhaps the most difficult one to draw from our inner well of wisdom! But what if, in the middle of this turmoil of charged emotion there was a way to step into the observer, the witness? Here are a couple of ideas that may help:
- When you feel your adrenalin surge, say so. It can be as simple as “when I hear you say that I feel a rush of Adrenalin.”
- Announce you need to take a couple of breaths in order to fully feel into the situation. This buys you time to make the transition into the witness. Make them deep and long! If two isn’t enough, take more. Take as many as you need.
- Know that the longer you take to answer, the more time you award yourself to connect with your inner guide. So take your time!
- Ask yourself, who is disturbed? Is it a younger version of myself? How old was I when this began for me?
- Express your condition. ‘I feel a pressure in my gut, and it reminds me of…’ this effectively communicates that you are willing to find the highest form of communication you can, rather than fuel conflict.
- Make a sound with your mouth closed. Emulate a sound of wonder and curiosity, “mmmmmmmmmmmmmm
…’. If you can allow just a glimpse of an alternative, your mind will want to know more
Most of the time that we feel blame for someone hurting us, it’s because we have been carrying a wound for a long time which gets opened all over again, and if we aren’t very careful – and self-caring – it’s likely we will react from a younger version of ourselves.
It’s all too easy to do, and afterwards it really doesn’t feel good. You may find this coming up in any relationship, but it’s likely it began when you were a youngster.
You were wounded and unable to capably defend yourself. When it happens today, instead of responding from your rational mind, you react from the child mind, which never makes things better, and usually worse.
The best way to find resolution is to use each trigger as a motivation to turn inside and inquire of your inner child “what is your deepest need?”
This is serious and deep work, but if you can open your ears – and your heart – to that younger version of you, you can offer your conscious support to your inner child that really – but really – needs it.
By opening to your inner child you also open to your inner wisdom. When you become allies, the little one inside feels protected by you, represented by you to the outer world, and it will no longer need to push you into troublesome situations.